Who I'm Meant To Be
by Chasyn
Summary: Buck had fallen in love with the baby. And he wanted to adopt her. Basically, this is the series written as if Buck adopted the toilet baby from the first episode. And never got with Abby, and Maddie still comes, and Eddie will be there eventually. And Buck and Eddie will get together. 8D
1. You Have My Heart

I know nothing about adopting/fostering and have very little time/energy to do research. I will try my best not to butcher this and do what research I can. But for the most part, I'll be making lots of liberties. XD This idea is based off buckleydiaz's short fic about Buck adopting the episode 1 baby. I asked permission to steal the idea and make a longer chaptered fic of it. 8D Oh! And at the start, Buck and Abby already know each other. So the episodes are out of order.

**Who I'm Meant to Be  
****Chapter 1: You Have My Heart**

No one looked at Buck and saw a family man. No one would ever guess he loved kids and couldn't wait to become a father, that it was one of his biggest life goals. People looked at Buck and they saw his carefree attitude and his sex addict ways. They saw his actions and judged him for them. To be honest, though, the blame for that was on Buck. He hardly let people in, to see the real him. And he never really cared what people thought of him anyways. He was just living his life, as he wanted. And when he got the chance to become a dad, he was going to jump head first into it. His kid would become his whole life, and he'd be the best dad.

"You should have seen her, Abbs." He said into his phone. He leaned back in the chair, leaning his head back against it. There was a smile on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. He was taking a break, sitting in the kitchen and just relaxing after the day they had. And there was only one thing on his mind. One tiny, ray of sunshine that had stolen his heart.

Abby had been the 9-1-1 operator on a call they had a month ago, in which a little girl had been left alone when robbers showed up. Buck had been on the scene and met Abby when he answered the phone. They kind of just clicked and became fast friends. "You sound pretty smitten." She said with a laugh.

"I am." Buck breathed out. "She was just... so tiny and... perfect! A real little soldier, just fighting to live."

"Sounds like a real miracle." Abby said.

"It was." Buck nodded his head. "If that stoner kid hadn't heard her or if someone had flushed their toilet..." He trailed off and didn't finish his thought. Because it was a horrible thought. "She was just so small!"

Abby let out another laugh. "Newborns are pretty small, Buck."

"I know, I just..." He smiled, remembering when Bobby handed her over. She weighed nothing and was just so small! And then he'd held her to his chest and ran down the flights of stairs. And then they let him ride in the ambulance with her. "I've never held a newborn before." He said wistfully. He'd never forget it, too.

"Buck, I'd love to listen to you talk about the baby all day." Abby said with a sigh. "It's just so sweet. You're so cute."

Buck smiled again.

"But..." Abby continued. "My break is over."

"Okay, okay, okay." He leaned forward. "I'll let you go."

"I'm really glad you were able to save her, Buck." Abby said.

"Me, too." He breathed out. They said goodbye and he hung up. But he couldn't stop smiling and he couldn't stop thinking about the baby. He hoped she was doing okay. Bobby had stopped him from going in the hospital, saying their job stopped at the door. But Buck really wanted to know if she was okay. He sighed and checked the time on his phone. His shift was almost over. He wondered if visiting hours at the hospital counted towards newborn babies? Would he be able to walk in and have someone at least tell him if she were still alive?

An hour later, he was walking through the hospital. He went up to the entrance counter and explained that he was involved in the baby's rescue, and wanted to know how she was. He was directed to the hospital's social worker's office and told where to find it. He paused outside the door for a moment. He was slightly nervous. He wasn't completely sure why. He was terrified of being told the baby girl was sick or worse, died. Buck bit his lip as he knocked on the door.

The door opened and an older woman opened the door. "You Evan Buckley, the firefighter?"

Buck nodded his head. "Yes, ma'am."

She eyed him for a moment, looking him up and down. "Hmm." She hummed and stepped out of her office. She pulled the door closed behind her. "Follow me." She said and turned down the hall. She didn't wait to see if he was following.

Buck blinked and stared after her for a moment. "Uh..." He hurried to catch up and fell in step with her. "Where we going?" He asked.

She glanced sideways at him. "To see the baby."

A smile spread across Buck's face. "Really? Is she okay?"

The woman nodded. "At the moment, yes."

"At the moment?" Buck repeated, frowning. He didn't like the sound of that.

She nodded again. "Her tests came back good. She seems fine. But you never know what can happen. Being in that pipe might have caused brain damage. Sometimes it's not evident at first." She turned the corner and they headed into the maternity wing. She lead him down another hall and then they stopped. They stood in front of the large viewing window of the nursery. The woman stepped closer to the window. She lifted her hand to point.

Buck ignored her for a moment as he pressed closer to the window. He recognized the little girl he carried instantly. She looked better, healthier and pinker and wrapped in the cutest little pink blanket. He could just make out the label on her bassinet. _Baby Girl Jane Doe._ Buck practically swooned against the glass. She was just the most previous little thing he'd ever seen. "She's just the sweetest." He said, sighing against the window. He glanced over at the woman and realized they'd never been introduced. "Oh uh... sorry." He pushed off the glass. "You know my name but..."

She smiled. "Olivia Jensen."

Buck held out his hand and she shook it. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Jensen."

"Miss." She corrected.

Buck smiled and held up his hands. "Sorry. Miss, then." He turned back to the window and smiled at the baby again. "So her name's Jane?"

She shook her head. "Jane Doe like... John Doe. Names given to people without names."

Buck's mouth fell open. That was just horrible. He couldn't fathom that no one had named her. "So she doesn't have a name?"

Olivia shook her head again. "No, she doesn't."

Buck glanced back at the baby. "What's going to happen to her?" He asked softly.

Olivia sighed and crossed her arms. "She's set to go into foster care."

"Foster care?" Buck repeated, looking over at her.

She nodded. "The mother's being charged with child endangerment and abandonment. But she's just a child herself. She has no interest in the baby. No one in the family wants her, either. Small family, we've already contacted everyone."

No one wanted her? Buck couldn't understand that. He couldn't process that. "But she'll like... be adopted, right?" He asked hopefully. "She's tiny and cute. People like tiny and cute."

She shrugged slightly and tilted her head. "To be honest, her chances are slim." She said. "Prospective parents will want to know where she came from, what happened to her. And they'll hear the story and assume there's some lasting damage. Damaged kids are expensive and troublesome. A lot of people wouldn't take the chance."

Buck frowned. That wasn't right. Or fair. It wasn't the baby's fault. She couldn't help what her mother did to her. She shouldn't have to suffer because of it. "So... what... she never gets adopted and just bounces around the system?"

Olivia let out a sigh and nodded. "I've seen it many times before. There's a good chance she'll just end up a ward of the state and be dumped when she turns 18."

Buck turned to look at the baby again. He bit his lip as the thought occurred to him. It was crazy. He knew it was crazy. But the second it popped in his head, he knew it would never go away. "What would it take to adopt her?"

Olivia turned sharply towards him. "Who? You?"

Buck didn't look away from the baby as he nodded his head. "Yeah, me." He said. "I want her." And he did. With every fiber of his being. He'd never wanted anything in his life even half as bad.

Olivia stared at him. She crossed her arms again. "How old are you?" She asked slowly.

Buck turned to look at her. "26." He answered.

"That's young." She said, shaking her head.

Buck shook his head quickly. "Not really. Lots of people get married and have kids way younger than me. I'm realistically old enough to like have a 10 year old kid. Or maybe even older. Kids are having sex at younger ages nowadays. Babies having babies."

"Are you married?" She asked. "Girlfriend? Anyone?"

Buck frowned and tilted his head. "Single people can't adopt? Are you saying single parents can't raise healthy, productive kids?"

Olivia sighed and rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not saying any of that." She rubbed at her forehead for a moment. "But, Mr. Buckley..."

"Buck." He corrected.

"Buck." She said. "Children are a lifetime commitment. Financially, physically, mentally." She reached out and patted him on the shoulder. "You have a big heart, I'll give you that. But a fleeting thought about adoption..."

"It's not fleeting." He said quickly and shook his head. "I'm serious. I've been thinking about nothing but her since we got that call. I want her."

Olivia was silent. She studied him again, tilted her head back and squinted her eyes. Several long minutes ticked by. So many, that Buck feared the worst and started to squirm under his scrutiny. Finally, she nodded her head. "You start by petitioning to be a foster parent."

Buck nodded vigorously. "Okay." He could do that.

"The application process takes three to six months." She continued. "It's a lot of paperwork. You have to pass a criminal background test, you have to prove you have a steady source of income and adequate housing. That you can prove the care needed to raise a child and have a good support system. There will be many inspections and interviews. And if after all that, you get approved and get a license, then we can discuss you taking her in."

Buck nodded his head again. "Okay. I can do all that. You can put her on like... hold for me? Like layaway?"

Olivia stared at him and blinked, like she was trying to figure out if he was serious. After a moment she sighed and shrugged. "We have a starter foster house, that is equipped to handle newborns with potential problems. She's set to go there. Take a couple days and think this over. If you're still adamant, give me a call and I'll help you start the process. I will put your name in her file."

"I don't need to wait." He said, smiling. "I'm sure."

She sighed and shook her head. "Fine. Let's go back to my office."

Buck smiled widely and hurried after her. "So who gets to name her?" He asked as they went.

"If she gets adopted, the adoptive parents get to name her." Olivia answered. "Until then, the foster parent can use a placeholder name."

"So... I could name her?" Buck asked with a wide smile.

"Don't get ahead of yourself."

"Could you put a requested name in her file?"

"Fine." They reached her office and Olivia opened her door. "Have a seat and we'll get started."

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**Author's Notes:** The first few chapters will be about Buck getting his baby girl. Then Eddie will come in. So it's an eventual Buck/Eddie. 8D


	2. Everything Will Change

YAY! 8D Buck is so excited, he gonna tell everyone!

**Who I'm Meant to Be  
Chapter 2: Everything Will Change**

Buck was the King of Change, when it was something he cared about and he put his mind to it. He was already planning in his head as he drove home. First, he needed a bigger place. The small one bedroom apartment wouldn't cut it. He'd call the building landlord, see if there was a two bedroom available. If not, he'd find a completely different place to live. The first round of paperwork had been filed. But there would be more, Olivia promised. And that was fine. Paperwork was easy. Once he moved into the new place, he'd have to baby proof. Babies got into everything and touched everything. No more leaving weights around. He'd need to find a place with like a storage closet or something. Maybe something he could lock up. Weights were heavy and could smash his little girl.

Yeah, that was a good plan. He'd have to talk to Bobby about taking some time off once he got her, too. He needed to research daycare. Or maybe a personal nanny. And preschools. Then all the actual baby stuff he needed. He was compiling a mental list... clothes, diapers, wipes, crib, car seat, stroller, changing table, toys, girly pictures for the wall, ponies and unicorns and glitter and flowers and a princess crown! And one of those backpack things because he was totally carrying her around everywhere, all the time. Then there was the long term things. A college fund, wedding fund, first car. Tooth fairy, Easter bunny, Santa Claus! First steps, first words, first tantrum! Every first thing. He was already imagining it all in his head, playing it out. In his heart, she was already his. He was so far gone.

He was practically vibrating with excitement as he got home. He stepped into his suddenly too small apartment and smiled. This would be the longest 3-6 months of his life! He had no clue how he was going to last! He wanted to tell someone! He wanted to tell everyone! He pulled out his phone and called Abby.

"Hey Buck." She said.

"Hey Abbs." He smiled. "How's your mom?"

"She's doing good, Buck. Thanks for asking."

"Everything go okay the rest of your shift?"

"Yeah." She breathed out over the line. "Just tired."

"Oh..." He paused for a moment. "You need to go?"

"No." She said quickly. "I can talk."

"Good!" He said, sinking down on the couch. "I got news."

"Good news?"

"Great!"

She laughed. "You sound excited."

"I am." He said. "The most in my whole life."

She laughed again. "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"You remember that baby from earlier?"

"Yeah, we talked like two hours ago, Buck."

He smiled. "I'm adopting her." Abby was silent but Buck didn't seem to realize it in his excitement. He kept on talking. "Well... fostering... well I will be. I'm petitioning for a foster care license. It'll take at least 3 months before I get her. Then I can adopt her for real in a year, if everything goes well..." Buck paused. "Abby?"

She made an audible noise over the line. "Hold on a moment, Buck. Slow down. You want to adopt the baby from today?"

"Yep." He answered quickly.

"Buck, you can't just do that."

"Well... no." He said. "Not easily. Can't just walk in and take her. Lots of red tape and shit. But I already started the paperwork."

"You did?" She asked in disbelief. "When?"

"I left the social worker's office a half hour ago..." Buck trailed off. He didn't like the tone in Abby's voice.

Abby sighed. "Buck, you can't have that baby."

"Yeah, I can." He insisted.

"No, honey, you can't."

Yeah, he definitely didn't like her tone. "Don't patronize me. And don't tell me I can't do something."

"Buck..."

He interrupted her. "You have no clue what I'm capable of!"

"Buck, you said we couldn't meet in person because you have no impulse control and we'd end up sleeping together the first night."

Buck leaned forward. "That had nothing to do with any of this."

"You are a man child!" She said loudly.

Buck blinked for a moment. "What does that even mean?"

"It means you can't take care of a newborn baby."

"Do not tell me what I can't do!"

Abby sighed again. "Buck, do you know how to care for a child?"

"I'll learn."

"Buck..."

"Every parent is a first time parent at some point." He pointed out. "They learn."

"Buck, think about it. This is a forever thing. You can't change your mind and take her back."

Buck was stunned into silence for a moment. Of course he knew that. That was a stupid thing to say. "I know that!" He snapped.

"Babies are hard."

"What's hard?" Buck asked loudly, practically yelling. "You feed them and clothe them, put a roof over their heads and love them. Seems pretty simple to me."

"It's not that simple."

"Yeah it is!" He insisted. "Already love her. Working on the rest."

"Buck..."

"No." He interrupted her again. "You know what? I'm done. Sorry I bothered you, Abby. Have a wonderful life."

He hung up on her and dropped his phone on the coffee table. Well that certainly didn't go like he thought it would. He turned and headed for the kitchen. What a bitch thing for her to say, he thought. "Acting like I'm not mature enough to take care of a baby!" He scoffed to himself as he pulled the refrigerator open. He had a couple 6-packs of beer on the top shelf. That didn't make him an alcoholic or anything. It didn't make him irresponsible to have beer. He was pretty sure those were left from when he had the squad over last month anyways. He thought Chim had brought them. The rest of the shelf was full of muscle and body building shakes. All healthy and organic and all natural. Athena wouldn't find any steroids or illegal substances in his place. Or his body, for that matter. He took a lot of pride in the amount of effort he put into his body fat index numbers. But being mildly obsessed with his body routine didn't mean he was irresponsible...

He grabbed a bottle of water and pushed the door shut. He twisted off the cap slowly and backed up a step until he hit the counter. He leaned back against it as he lifted the bottle to his lips. Now his mind was turning, replying Abby's words in his mind. She had planted seeds of doubt in the short conversation and he could already feel them festering. Buck drank half the bottle of water set it down on the counter. Abby didn't have any kids. She spent her whole life taking care of her sick mother. What did she _really_ know? He could learn what he needed. _Right_?

Buck bit his lip as he mulled it over in his head. He had had no doubts before. He'd told the social worker he'd wanted the baby. And he had. _Did_. He still wanted her. He just... Buck pushed off the counter and headed back out. He grabbed his phone and pulled up his sister's number. It had been a few months since he last talked to her. But she had grown up with him. She knew him best. He hit call and put the phone to his ear.

It rang once before the line clicked on. "Buck?"

His name was whispered. Buck frowned. "Maddie?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you whispering?" He asked.

There was a pause on the line and some shuffling. Finally, she answered. "Doug's still sleeping." Her voice was even lower.

Buck sighed deeply, his reason for calling momentarily forgotten. "Maddie, what has he done now?" Buck had suspected Maddie's husband wasn't the best. Far from it. But he had no proof. Maddie kept dodging the questions from the family. She and her husband kept to themselves. It killed Buck inside that he couldn't help. The squad had answered domestic abuse cases before.

And just like always, Maddie deflected. "Stop thinking the worst! He's working nights now... he sleeps during the day..."

He knew he couldn't help her unless she wanted it. He wasn't even sure where she was. He didn't know her address. She wouldn't tell him since he threatened to put an axe through Doug's back last Christmas. It was mostly a joke. "Maddie..."

"What do you want, Buck?" She whispered sharply.

Buck sighed. "Nothing, I guess."

"No!" She said quickly. "Uh... really. What did you want?"

Buck paused for a moment before he spoke. "I wanted to ask you what you thought of me getting a kid."

Maddie snorted. "You knocked someone up?"

"No." He rolled his eyes. "I'm adopting a baby."

She was silent again. "You?" There was a hint of laughter in her voice.

Buck sighed. "Why does no one think I can take care of a kid?" There was a slight whine to his voice.

"It's not that, Buck." She said quickly. "It's... it's pretty sudden."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Never mind." He mumbled.

"No, Buck. Talk to me." She urged. "Explain it to me."

Buck took a deep breath and launched into the story. He told her about the call and saving the baby. He talked about holding the tiny newborn and how he felt and that he couldn't get her off his mind and how it felt to see her again in the hospital. He finished up with what the social worker said and applying to be a foster parent. "This is what I want to do with my life." He said. "In a weird, cosmic fate kinda way, I feel like I'm meant to be her father."

"Oh my god, Buck!" Maddie practically cooed into the phone. "That is just... that is like the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say in your entire life."

Buck smiled and scratched at the back of his neck. "I uh... I just... I know it's gonna be hard. But... it's going to be so great, too."

Maddie let out a sound, like a half laugh and half sigh. "Go for it, Buck." She said after a moment.

Buck paused. "Really?" He asked softly.

"Really." She repeated.

"You uh... don't think I'm gonna mess up?" He asked.

"Oh, I know you are." She said quickly. "You will mess everything up. All first time parents do. But you'll learn."

Buck's eyes widened. "That's what I said!"

She laughed. "What?"

"Okay... so... I have this older woman phone friend..." Buck told Maddie all about Abby.

Maddie was quiet until he finished. "I know you, Buck. I know how determined and capable you can be. When you put your mind to it. But I've also known you for years. This friend of yours, sounds like she's just... too new. Do you understand what I mean?"

Buck shrugged a bit. "Kinda, I guess."

"You have to admit, Buck." She added. "This all is very sudden, even for you."

"Maybe."

"It's a lot for someone to wrap their head around. Just... if you really like her, just give her some time. But Buck, I'm so proud of you and I'm excited! If there's anything I can do to help..." She trailed off for a moment "Buck, I have to go."

The line went dead and Buck pulled the phone away from his ear and stared down at it for a moment. He sighed and once again, wished there was something he could do to help his sister. But he couldn't worry about her now. He had a landlord to hunt down and baby related things to do.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

The next morning, Buck walked into the station nearly an hour early. Bobby was already there and surprised to see him. Buck smiled and launched right into his baby plan and how he'd need time off. And Bobby's reaction was the same as Abby's and Maddie's. Surprise and shock. Chim popped up and again, same reaction when Buck told him. Why did everyone automatically think him crazy and told him he couldn't do it?

Hen was the only one who didn't bat at eye when he told her. She smiled at him and reached out to pull him into a hug. She held him tightly and patted him on the back. When she pulled away, she was still smiling. " I hope you get her and you'll do great. If you need help with anything, Buck, you call me, okay? Anything. At any time. No matter what it is."

Buck was completely speechless. "Uh... well... I have to be honest here, Hen." He started. "I'm a little surprised."

She stepped closer and dropped her voice. "When Danny was born... Eva didn't want him. Hell... the moment she found out she was pregnant..." Hen trailed off as she looked away and shook her head. "Eva didn't want him, but I did. I remember the first time I saw him, so tiny and gross." She smiled and let out a soft laugh. "He was the most beautiful and precious thing I'd ever seen. And I wanted him so bad." She looked back at Buck and smiled. "There were people in my life that told me not to. But I never once, for even a second, regretted taking that boy. And he's _my_ son now."

Buck smiled and wrapped an arm around her. "Hen, who knew you were so soft and sentimental?"

Her eyes narrowed into a glare and she pushed him away. "Alright. Moment over. You messed it up."

Buck let out a laugh and just tried to hug her again. Bobby and Chim had been standing not too far away and overheard most of their conversation. Both looked guilty as they stepped closer. Bobby cleared his throat. "Uh... Hen is right, Buck."

"Yeah." Chim nodded and agreed. "Sorry man. Whatever we can do to help."

"Although..." Bobby tilted his head a bit. "It is a little... grown up for you."

"Hey!" Hen snapped. "Sometimes it just takes a kick in the ass for someone to become the person they were meant to be."

Chim immediately raised his hand. "I volunteer to kick him."

Bobby shook his head. "No, I'm the captain. I get to do the ass kicking."

"Hey!" Hen snapped again. "It was my idea!"

"Idea?" Buck repeated, frowning. "I thought you were just standing up for me!" But Buck was saved from said ass-kicking as the siren rang.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Buck was exhausted when he got home. Mentally and physically. He'd called Olivia and she said his baby girl was still doing great. If all was well, in two days, she'd be heading off to the foster house. Buck would be able to formally visit her, if the foster parents agreed. Olivia would get in touch with them and let Buck know. And he couldn't wait. He was so lost in thought, that he didn't hear the knock at the front door until someone was banging on it. Buck was in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables. He set the knife down and wiped off his hands as he walked out into the living room. He headed towards the door and glanced out of the peep hole. His eyes widened and he pulled the door open quickly. "What are you doing here?"

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**Author's Notes:** I still haven't decided on what to do with Abby. I have mixed feelings with her. I feel like what they did with her in season 2 was completely out of character. Like I understand writing her off the show, but there should have been a phone call or something, where she broke it off or explained to Buck that she wasn't coming home and he should move on for good. SO I DON'T KNOW! I could have Buck change her mind and prove he's awesome and they become besties again and she's all gung-ho with baby. Or just have her disappear with the wind like the ghost story she is.

SOMEONE MAKE UP MY MIND FOR ME!


	3. Circles

So... someone kinda took over this chapter. 8D But don't worry! We will get back to the baby soon! And Eddie will be in soonish.

**Who I'm Meant to Be  
Chapter 3: Circles**

"Uh... hi, Buck. Surprise." Her voice wavered a bit as she spoke. She held on tightly to the strap of a duffle bag over her shoulder and she looked seconds from completely falling apart. "Can I... uh... come in?"

Buck shook himself and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, Mads, sure." He stepped aside and held the door open. "Of course. Sorry. Surprise is right." He was completely shocked to see her standing there. She was the last person he expected at his door. Maddie stepped inside, relief on her face. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept in days. There was a cut on her lip and a forming bruise on her cheek that extended up to her forehead. It looked like she might have had another mark up into her hairline, but it was hard to tell exactly. Buck pulled the door shut quickly and locked it. Then he turned and grabbed Maddie's shoulder. He pulled on her gently, forcing her to turn towards him. He grabbed her bag and tossed it on the couch. "Are you okay?" He stepped closer and reached out to brush her hair away.

Maddie ducked her head a bit but other than that, didn't move. She didn't pull away. "It looks worse than it is." She said softly, her voice barely a whisper. "It's all superficial, nothing's broken."

His eyes widened. "Broken? There's more?" He asked.

Maddie breathed out and bit her lip. She turned slightly and lifted the hem of her shirt. A large, ugly bruise stretched clear up to the bottom of her bra strap. She tried not to flinch as she stretched her arm up.

"Shit, Maddie!" Buck leaned closer. "That looks bad. Did you get it looked at?"

She shook her head. "I'm a nurse. I know it's not broken."

Back straightened up and sighed. "Maddie, what the hell happened?"

Maddie didn't look at him. "He kicked me." She whispered.

Buck's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "He nearby? I'm gonna kill him."

Maddie rolled her eyes and dropped her shirt. "No, he doesn't know where you live. He... doesn't know anything about you... he never asked... I guess that's a good thing."

"Maddie..." Buck breathed out her name.

She sniffed as there were suddenly tears in her eyes. "I thought maybe you needed some help?" She choked out. "Luckily we're never had kids but... having a nurse for a nanny might help the process along."

"Maddie."

"If you'll have me." She interrupted. She was rambling, she knew. But she was nervous. She'd done it finally. She'd left Doug. She couldn't go back now. Not that she exactly wanted to. But it was almost as scary knowing she couldn't go back, as it was the idea of actually going back. And she'd been so short and practically mean to Buck for the past couple years. She wouldn't blame him if he threw her out the door. She deserved it. "I'll leave." She continued. "If you want me to. Just don't tell anyone I was here." She shook her head. "That you saw me or even talked to me." She paused for a moment and shook her head again. "This was a mistake. I'll just leave."

"Maddie, shut up for a second." Buck said loudly. Maddie jerked back, startled. "Sorry." Buck said quickly, lowering his voice. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. She winced for a moment and then practically melted against him. "Maddie, I would love have you stay." He said. "For as long as you want." He pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Really?" She asked softly.

Buck smiled and shrugged. "Plus I could totally use a fulltime nanny. Do all the hard work for me."

Maddie smiled and tilted her head. "Really? After all that talk about fate and being destined to be this baby's father, you really want someone else doing all the dirty work?"

"Hey, if you're offering." Buck smiled and shrugged. "I just can't believe you're here."

Maddie smiled and let out a laugh as more tears suddenly fell from her eyes. "I woke up Doug yesterday when you called." She started.

"Mads, I'm sorry." Buck sighed. He hadn't even thought about what might happen if he called her. He just needed someone to talk to, someone who knew him.

She shook her head. "Don't be." She said quickly. "He left for work and I started thinking about you. Taking this step and making such a big life change..." She sighed and then smiled at him. "I'm so proud of you." She added. "Such a grown up thing to do."

Buck stepped back. He smiled sheepishly and scratched at the back of his neck. It was nice to hear from her.

"I just started to think..." Maddie continued. "If you could change... I could change... I could be strong. And..." She shook a deep breath and breathed it out slowly. "When Doug got back this morning, I crushed a couple of my sleeping pills in his breakfast, packed a bag, emptied the savings account, and got on a plane. And then a bus... and then I walked..." She breathed out. "I haven't slept in like 48 hours."

Buck's eyes widened. "Come on." He grabbed her arm. "We can catch up more later. You can sleep in my room."

Maddie shook her head. "I can sleep on the couch."

"No." Buck said, shaking his head.

"Buck..."

"I have to leave early tomorrow." Buck said. "Early shift. Don't wanna wake you." Maddie still looked like she wanted to argue. But she was exhausted. And Buck smiled triumphantly. "I'll see you after work tomorrow, okay? Everything's going to be fine, Maddie. You're safe with me."

She smiled. "Thank you, Buck."

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Maddie didn't sleep well the first night. She tossed and turned and woke up screaming. Her dreams were riddle with nightmares about Doug. Doug showing up to get her, Doug showing up to get Buck. And once, Doug hovering over a crib. Maddie had jolted right out of Buck's bed and ran from the room at that one. Buck stopped her before she could get too far and Maddie pushed against him hard. "I have to leave!" She said frantically. "I should have never come. I put you in danger" She sobbed against him.

Buck shook his head. "Mads, you're not leaving. And do I look like I can't handle myself?"

"But..."

"No." Buck interrupted her and spun her around. "Go back to sleep." He said, pushing her.

"But... your baby..."

"I can protect you both. And I have friends." He pushed her gently back into the room and towards his bed. "Maddie, it's okay. I will be right out there if you need me. But you are safe."

Maddie took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Okay." She said softly, her voice barely a whisper. She still didn't seem convinced. But she was too tired to argue.

Buck returned to the couch and sunk down into the cushions. He sighed deeply. He should get used to sleepless nights. Hopefully he had many years of them ahead. Buck closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. But all too soon, he was opening them as his phone alarm went off. He felt like he'd just gotten to sleep. He sighed and rolled off the couch. Quite literally. Buck picked him up off the carpet and straightened up. He yawned and stretched and went to find his sister. He found her, hovering in the doorway. Buck sighed and reached out to hug her. She was going to vanish. He could feel it. She was too scared. Buck sighed deeply as he pushed away from her. "Coffee?"

Maddie nodded. "I can make it." She said, walking around him.

Buck crossed his arms and turned, watching her. "You don't know where it is."

Maddie shrugged slightly. "I'll fine it."

Buck watched her for a moment as he leaned in the doorway. He couldn't leave her alone, not now. He sighed and grabbed his phone. He hit Bobby's number and put the phone to his ear. "Bobby?"

"Buck?"

"Yeah... uh..." Buck sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I have a slight problem."

Bobby sighed over the line. "I'm on my way to the station now. If I get there and one of the truck's are missing again..."

"No! No, no!" Buck shook his head quickly. "I'm still home. I haven't left yet. And I promised you and Athena. I'm done with that shit."

"Uh huh." Body didn't sound convinced.

Buck didn't blame him. He'd made a lot of mistakes his first couple months. He'd be making up for them for a long time. "Look... my sister showed up last night. She just left her abusive husband and she's scared and I don't want to leave her alone."

"Sorry to hear that, Buck." Bobby said, sounding genuine. "You need the day off?"

"No.. uh..." Buck paused for a moment. "I think a distraction would be better. I was wondering if she would come to the station? Just like hang out? She's not crazy like me, she's the more level headed Buckley sibling. She's a registered nurse."

Bobby was silent for a moment, mulling it over. "Maybe." He said finally. "I will call the chief and call you back."

"Yes!" Buck exclaimed. "Thanks, Cap!"

Bobby sighed. "It's not a yes, Buck."

"Yet." Buck pointed out.

It was a yes, as long as she didn't get in the way or interfer. And soon, Buck was dragging Maddie through the front doors of the station. But Maddie was digging in her heels now that she was there. "Buck, I think I should go back." She said softly.

"No, Mads." Buck said, shaking his head. "Come on, these are my friends."

"Buck..." She sighed but she didn't put up any real resistance. She'd overheard Buck on the phone earlier. And he was right. A distraction would be good for her.

Buck strutted in, across the station. "Hey Hen, Chimney, Bobby!"

The three stepped towards them and made their introductions. Everyone was very open and nice. Maddie smiled and nodded and then tried to stick to herself. She didn't want to get in the way. But everyone kept coming over to talk to her. Bobby kept asking if she needed anything. Hen wanted to dish about Buck. She had a lot of stories despite Buck only being there a few months. And then there was Chimney, who was currently talking about his girlfriend, Tatiana. Maddie smiled at the pictures. And then she was saved by the sirens.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

Maddie went with Buck the first couple days. It was actually helping, being around the squad. They were nice and comforting. And Maddie was growing especially close to Chimney. He was just so easy to talk to. After a few days, Maddie starting spending only a couple hours at the station. Then she would go back to Buck's place and wait. Being alone was nerve wracking still. She jumped at every noise. But no one came after her. Then Buck would get home and they'd go apartment hunting or baby stuff shopping. Buck insisted on finding a three bedroom that Maddie liked, too. She was staying, he told her, and that was that. He broached the subject of a job a couple days later. Maddie broke down, worrying that she was too much of a burden on her little brother and stressing him out. Buck had to spend nearly 20 minutes talking her down because no, he loved having her and she totally helping him.

It was almost a week since Maddie had shown up and everything was going great. They were just finishing up the paperwork for their new place when Buck's phone rang. He pulled it out and smiled down at the display. He glanced up at Maddie quickly. "It's the social worker!" He said excitedly, answering it. "Miss Jensen!" He said into the phone. "Hey!"

"Hello Buck." She said warmly. "Still on track?"

"Yes, ma'am." He answered. "Just finalizing the deal on a bigger place."

"Good! I wanted to let you know the baby's still doing well."

Buck smiled. "Thank you." She had called him every other day, to tell him the baby was still okay. And he really appreciated it.

She continued. "The temporary foster family has granted your request to visit.

Buck could hardly contain himself. That was the best thing he'd heard in days. "Seriously?"

"Yes. I will text you their number and address." They chatted idly for a few more minutes. But Buck could hardly keep his excitement contained. As soon as they said their goodbyes and he got the number, Buck called the foster family and made a play date. He quickly sighed the lease agreement. The place was great and would work. Enough room for him, his baby, and his sister, for as long as she wanted.

"Congratulations." Maddie said, clapping him on the back as they left the apartment. "You can move in tomorrow."

"We can." Buck corrected.

Maddie laughed as she got into Buck's jeep. "You want to drop me off at home?"

Buck shook his head as he plugged the address into his GPS. "No way. You're coming with me."

Maddie frowned. "But... you're visiting your baby."

"Yeah." Buck shrugged. "I've already met her. Now she can meet her aunt."

Maddie smiled at the sentiment. "Are you sure?"

Buck nodded his head. "Yep."

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**Author's Notes:** Yep. I love Maddie. So she kinda took over here. XD


	4. Turn Around

Oh yeah. I forgot to thank everyone for their opinions on Abby! Thank you!

**Who I'm Meant to Be  
Chapter 4: Turn Around**

Buck raced up the steps and knocked softly on the door. He was practically bouncing, he was so excited. Maddie let out a laugh as she walked up behind him, a bit slower. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. Buck slowed his bouncing for a moment and looked over at her. Maddie just smiled again. "You're so cute." She said. Buck smiled widely, flashing her all of his teeth. Maddie rolled her eyes and pushed him. "You are ridiculous." Buck just smiled again.

The door opened and a young woman somewhere around their age smiled at them. She held out her hand towards Buck. "Hi! I'm Kate. You must be Buck."

Buck shook her hand and nodded. "Nice to meet you. This is my sister, Maddie."

Kate smiled and shook Maddie's hand, too. Then she opened the door wide and stepped aside. "Come on in." They stepped inside and Kate closed the door. Then she ushered them down the hall and to the nursery. "This is perfect timing." She said, walking into the open door. "Chloe just woke up from her nap."

Buck was grinning ear to ear. "You call her Chloe."

Kate turned and nodded. "That's what we were told her perspective parent wanted to call her."

"You named her?" Maddie thumped Buck hard on the shoulder. "Is that why you wouldn't tell me her name? I honestly thought you didn't know."

Buck smiled and danced away from her, out of her range. Then he stuck his tongue out and darted towards Kate, who was standing beside a crib. They both leaned over, staring at the infant inside. She was actually snuggled inside a bassinet , that was sitting in the crib. Maddie walked across the room and joined them. Tiny little Chloe didn't look much bigger. She was still impossibly tiny looking. Her eyes were opened and she blinked up at them with wide, bright blue eyes. Buck smiled down at her. "Can I hold her?" He asked softly.

"Of course." Kate dipped her arms inside the crib. She gently pulled the baby from the bassinet and lifted her up. "You have to support her head and neck." Kate said softly.

Buck nodded his head vigorously as Kate handed Chloe over. She was nestled in the crook of his arm and he held her tightly against his chest. She was wrapped up, swaddled, Buck thought the word was. Like a tiny little burrito. He'd have to learn that. She stared up at him with her wide blue eyes and for a second, Buck wondered if she remembered him. It was a silly notion. She'd been half dead when he ran her down to the ambulance.

Maddie pressed in closer and Buck turned towards her. "She's so tiny."

Buck smiled, his eyes still on those beautiful blue ones. "I told you we saved her right after she was born. She's only like a week old." Buck glanced up at Kate, who was still hovering nearby. "Is she okay? Eating and stuff?"

Kate nodded her head. "Yes. She hardly cries, she had a good appetite, she seems cognitive enough for her age. I think she's really lucky you got to her so fast." Kate smiled and breathed out. "She's perfect."

Buck watched the woman and listened to her words. And his heart sunk. If she wanted Chloe, there was no way he was getting her. There was no way the courts would give him the newborn baby if she was wanted by a family who could already take care of her now. Buck swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "Oh... uh..." He stuttered a bit for a moment. He wanted to ask but his heart wouldn't let him. Because he was fearing the worst as he looked back down at Chloe. He didn't know what he would do if he didn't get her.

Maddie watched her brother for a moment. She could read him so well and knew the fears running through his head. She knew how much that baby meant to him and she knew how crushed he'd be if he didn't get her. Maddie turned towards Kate and cleared her throat. "You seem pretty capable and prepared. But you have no interest in adoption or longer fostering?"

Buck's eyes widened and he looked over at Maddie. He wanted to glare at her, for possibly putting the idea in the woman's head if it wasn't already there. But he anxiously looked at Kate, waiting for the answer.

Kate smiled and shook her head. "No, no. My wife and I, we were both in foster care. Our experiences weren't good. At this point in our lives, we're happy providing temporary homes for the kids that need it." Kate breathed out a sigh and looked over at Buck and Chloe. "I'd be lying if I said it won't be hard to give her up when the time comes. But I can tell, she'll be in good hands."

Buck smiled widely and looked down at Chloe again. He felt his heart swell at the words. Maddie moved closer, peering down at her as well. Buck looked up at her. "You wanna hold her?" Buck handed the baby over to Maddie and then pulled out his phone. He took way too many pictures of Maddie holding her. Maddie laughed and shook her head. Until Chloe started getting fussy.

"Come on." Kate said, waving them out of the room. "Bottle time. I'll show you how to make one and you can feed her."

"I'd love to!" Buck hurried to catch up and Maddie trailed a bit behind, holding baby Chloe snug against her.

"Schedules are very important for babies." Kate said as she led them to the kitchen. "Try to feed her around the same times, putting her down for naps and for bed." She pulled out the formula and bottle. She showed Buck how to prepare the bottle. Then Maddie handed Chloe back to Buck and Kate showed him how to feed her. Maddie snatched Buck's phone and added a dozen more pictures and videos. They hung out for another hour or so as Kate showed Buck a few things. Burping, diaper changing, dressing, sponge bath, and other various baby related things. Buck had read up on a lot of the finer things of baby care. He'd watched videos and joined a few online forums. But getting the hands on demonstration was nice and appreciated. Buck soaked it up and they left with promises of coming back. And Buck couldn't wait!

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

It was almost a week later and Maddie was hanging out late at the fire station. Buck had left for the day, a few hours early. He had a scheduled visit with his case worker, wanting to check out the new apartment. Buck was worried and left to go home and clean and make sure everything was in its place. It was, of course. Maddie and him had spent the last week moving in. They didn't have everything he would need yet for Chloe, but they had made a dent in the supplies and her room was starting to come together.

"Maddie!"

She turned and smiled as Chimney walked over. "Hey. Ready to go?" She asked.

There was a movie out Chimney wanted to see. But Tatiana wasn't big on going out, like anywhere, with him. Which he chose to ignore like the lovesick fool he was. So Maddie offered to go with him, as friends. But Chim sighed and shook his head. "Cap needs me for another hour."

Maddie nodded and pulled out her phone. "We can go to a later showing." She said easily, pulling up the theater website. "Maybe eat before we go instead of after."

Chim breathed out a sigh of relief. "That would be great."

Maddie smiled. "I'll head out for a bit. Text me when you're done." She turned and headed towards the door. But a new voice stopped her.

"I'm... uh... a friend of Buck's."

Maddie stopped and turned. An older woman was talking to Bobby. Maddie started towards them.

"I'm Abby." The woman continued.

"Oh Abby." Bobby smiled and nodded his head. "Yes, I uh... remember him talking about you..." He trailed off.

Abby let out a sigh and shook her head. "I take it by your tone, you know we had a falling out."

Bobby shrugged a bit. "He might... have mentioned it."

"I tried to call him." Abby continued. "But his number's been disconnected. So I went to his apartment... I'd never been there but I knew where it was... and I was told me moved... does he... still work here?" Abby had spent the last two weeks feeling torn up for the way she treated Buck on the phone. She wanted to call him so many times. But he hadn't called or texted her. And she was certain she'd ruined their friendship. She still believed Buck wasn't ready to take care of a newborn baby. But she hadn't explained herself well enough. Because if it was something Buck wanted to do, then she would of course support her friend and help him in any way he needed. But maybe she just needed to wait and let Buck calm down. And a week ago, she broke down and called him. But the number was disconnected. So she went back through all their texts and the found the one from when Buck got drunk and invited her over.

"The number is my fault." Maddie said, interrupting them. "Hi." She lifted her hand to wave. "I'll handle this, Bobby."

Bobby smiled and nodded. "It was nice to meet you, Abby." He said. "To put a face to the voice."

Maddie waited a moment as Bobby left. Then she turned back to Abby. "I'm Maddie, Buck's sister." She held out her hand.

"Oh!" Abby shook her hand and smiled. "I uh... sorry. We were phone friends... I guess... for a couple months. I honestly can't remember if he mentioned a sister."

Maddie nodded and tilted her head to the side a bit. "We're had a rough couple of years. Umm... so yeah. Sorry about the number thing. When I... came to town... Buck decided we both should change our phone numbers... because I'm sorta... hiding from someone."

"Oh..." Abby nodded her head slowly. "Is that why he moved, too?"

"No." Maddie shook her head. "He moved to get a bigger place." She answered. "A single bedroom is a hard sell for his application."

"Application?" Abby repeated.

Maddie nodded. "He said he told you, about adopting Chloe."

"Chloe..."

"The baby?" Maddie was starting to doubt that this was the same phone friend Buck had mentioned.

"Oh. Right." Abby nodded her head again and looked away. She sighed and shook her head. "I shouldn't have come. Just... tell Buck..." She shook her head again. "Never mind." She turned.

"Wait!" Maddie reached out and grabbed her arm. "Abby, our place isn't very far. I know Buck's there right now. I can take you."

Abby paused. She turned back and looked at Maddie. "Our?"

"Oh... yeah." Maddie smiled. "I sort of offered to stay and help play nanny, I guess." She shrugged slightly. "Buck insisted on a big enough place to include me so... I guess we're roommates or something."

Abby was silent for a moment. "So... I guess this baby thing... is really happening, then."

Maddie smiled again and reached out to grab Abby's hand. "Come on." She said, tugging the woman along behind her. A few minutes later, they were pulling up in front of the apartment complex. Maddie parked and pointed out the window. "It's that one there." She said. "Number 8, the one on the corner."

Abby breathed out and nodded her head. "Okay. Thank you." She opened the door and slipped out. She shut the door and stepped forward, onto the sidewalk.

"Good luck!" Maddie called out. She quickly backed up and sped off.

Abby spun around, her eyes wide. She watched as Maddie disappeared. Well... she wasn't expecting that. But she was here now and she was stuck. She turned back towards apartment number 8. She took a deep breath and walked down the path towards it. She held tightly to the strap of her purse. She was suddenly nervous. She had had such an easy and quick friendship with Buck. She had been developing a crush on the cute firefighter. And in the span of a five minute conversation, she'd ruined it all.

The door opened before Abby even got to it. Buck leaned in the doorway, a lopsided smile on his face. "Saw you on the security camera." He said loudly and pointed above his head to the tiny camera.

Abby looked up at it and tilted her head for a moment. "Security cameras?"

Buck nodded. "Gotta keep my girls safe when I'm not around."

Abby smiled as she walked towards him slowly. She stopped a few feet away and breathed out slowly. "If I apologized for calling you immature... would you forgive me?"

Buck titled his head. "You didn't call me immature."

Abby shrugged. "I implied it."

Buck tilted his head the other way and smiled. "Yeah, you did."

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

Buck pushed off the frame and turned around. "Okay." He called out and walked inside.

"Wait..." Abby followed after him and hovered in the doorway. "Does that mean... you forgive me?"

"Yep." Buck nodded and spun around. "You wanna come in?"

"Buck, I really am sorry..."

Buck shrugged and stepped back, farther into the sparse living room. They needed a bit more furniture but it worked for the moment. "Really, it's no big." He said, turning away from her. "Pretty much everyone had the same reaction anyways." He let out a sigh and scratched at the back of his head. "Even my sister, Maddie. Though she came around pretty quick."

Abby stepped inside finally and pulled the door shut behind her. "She seems nice." She said, taking her purse off and dropping it on the table beside the door.

"She is." Buck said softly.

"She said she moved in with you, that you insisted on a bigger place for her."

Buck shrugged. "She was part of the reason. She had a bad couple of years and needed someplace safe."

Abby smiled widely. "Always the hero, Buck."

Buck let out a laugh and nodded. "It's the role I was born to play. Well... one of them."

Abby nodded stiffly. She turned and grabbed her purse again. She rifled around in it for a moment and pulled out an envelope. She had no clue if it was appropriate or if it would help. She set her purse back down and turned towards Buck. She was nervous. But she really liked Buck and wanted to repair their friendship. She still didn't believe Buck was capable of taking care of a potentially brain damaged baby and she feared it would all blow up in his face. But she would be supportive. She held the envelope out towards him. Her hand shook a little. "I uh... wasn't sure if you were going to have like... a party or anything... and I didn't know what you needed... so..." She shrugged slightly.

Buck was curious. He took the envelope and held it for a moment. "A party." He repeated with a slow smile. "Like a... baby shower?" He asked, looking up at her. The idea had never occurred to him. Pregnant women had baby showers, before the baby was born. As hopeful and determined as he was, he still wasn't certain he was getting Chloe. There were still so many variables in the air. So many things that would potentially go wrong.

Abby nodded her head. "I don't know if that's a thing." She said, mimicking Buck's train of thought. "Baby shower for adoption."

Buck shook his head. "Fostering." He corrected. "Adoption comes later."

"Right." Abby nodded. "Maybe you can have a party then."

Buck smiled and nodded. "Yeah, maybe." He held the envelope up for a moment longer, wondering what was in it. "So does that mean I have to wait to open this at the maybe party one day?"

Abby let out a laugh. A long, hardy chuckle that shook her whole frame. She was still laughing as she shook her head and said, "No, Buck. You don't have to wait."

"Cool." Buck flipped the envelope over. He opened it slowly and pulled out the slip of paper. A gift certificate to a photo place.

"They specialize in baby's first picture sessions." She explained.

Buck's face lit up more. "This is perfect, Abby! You are amazing!" He stepped across the room and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her against him tightly.

Abby smiled. "Thanks, Buck."

Buck laughed. "I'm supposed to be thanking you." He said and they both laughed.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**Author's Notes:** ... I chose the name Chloe for the baby when I first thought about asking buckleydiaz if I could steal the idea. XD I had forgotten what name they chose but I didn't want to completely copy anyways. XD And then I named the social worker Olivia. Buckleydiaz, you should have yelled at me about that! But oh well. XD I'm too lazy to pick another name and go back and edit it. ANYWAYS ENJOY! I AM EXCITE FOR NEXT CHAPTER!


	5. Coming Home

Updates will slow down. Like a lot. A lot is happening with boss at work. So I'll be working more and weird hours to help out because he needs time off. So... yep.

**Who I'm Meant to Be  
Chapter 5: Coming Home**

"You don't _UNDERSTAND!_" Buck thumped hard on the counter. Much harder and louder than the last time. Anything to get this woman to _understand!_

The nurse behind said counter stared at him a moment. Her expression feigned boredom and she didn't even flinch at his outburst. "Sir, if you would please have a seat, the doctor will be out to see you in a few minutes."

"But..." Buck tried but was cut off.

"If you continue to cause a disruption in my ER, I will have you removed from the premises."

Maddie walked up behind him. She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away from the counter. "Buck, yelling at the nurses won't help. That's what got you kicked out of the room."

Buck turned towards Maddie. "But..."

"No, go have a seat!" She hissed lowly to him. "Let me see if I can talk to her."

"But!"

"No! SIT DOWN!"

Buck threw up his arms angrily and practically growled. He turned and stomped over to the line of chairs along the wall, making way more noise than needed. He slunk down in one of the empty chairs and slouched back. He couldn't believe this was happening! How? What had he done wrong to the universe?

Maddie watched him for a moment and let out a sigh. Then she turned and headed back to the desk. "I apologize. He's just a little over emotional. New parent and it's the first time she's been sick."

The ER nurse looked up at Maddie. "Your husband has been extremely disruptive..."

Maddie shook her head immediately. "He's not my husband!" She corrected. "He's my brother."

"Oh... is the... mother here?" The nurse asked slowly in a tone that conveyed sympathy for the fictional woman.

Maddie shook her head again. "There uh... is no mother. He's the foster parent. He's planning on adopting her."

The nurse's eyes softened. "Oh."

Maddie leaned on the counter and let out a soft sigh. " I understand working nights in the ER and how frustrating it can be, getting yelled at and cursed and spat on and a myriad of other horrible things. But I promise, he really didn't mean any harm."

Buck chose that exact moment to jump, quite literally, out of his seat. "Maddie!"

Maddie turned slightly and held up her finger. She pointed at him. "Sit!" She snapped angrily. She felt like they were kids again, and she punishing him for doing something naughty. She could remember the countless times she stuck him in the corner when she babysat him. Buck was a boundless pile of energy.

"Look, I'm sorry." Buck said, keeping his voice soft and level as he walked towards them. Calmly. Oh so calmly. "It's just been a long time and I'm worried."

Maddie sighed as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "It's been about 5 minutes since we got here."

Buck stopped. He blinked and opened his mouth slowly. "Seriously?" He asked in disbelief. Both Maddie and the nurse nodded their heads. "Oh..."

The doctor did indeed come out a couple minutes later. Maddie was chatting up the nurse, sharing war stories of working in the ER. Buck was hanging back, trying to wait patiently. But it was killing him. And the moment he spotted the doctor, he rushed forward. "Is she okay?"

The woman smiled and nodded her head. "She's fine." She said. "It looks like a low-grade infection. Simple and easy to treat. We have her on antibiotics."

Buck breathed out a sigh of relief.

Maddie stepped closer and reached out to squeeze his arm. "See?" She said.

The doctor continued. "We'd like to keep her a couple hours and monitor her, as a precaution."

Buck nodded his head. "But... she's okay?"

The doctor nodded again. "It's pretty common and we caught it before it got bad. You did a good job." She said with a smile. "You can come on back to the pediatric waiting room if you'd like, while I get her admitted. Then you can see her after. I assume you're staying."

Buck and Maddie eagerly followed her through the hospital. They walked past the room where Buck was thrown out not too long ago. He couldn't help getting worked up so much. His little girl was sick. And it didn't seem like the stupid doctors were moving fast enough! They were, of course. They did their jobs. And it was almost one in the morning. Oops. Buck had forgotten that part. But emergencies happen in the middle of the night and doctors really should move faster in the middle of the night. Or... Buck had completely overreacted when he told the doctor, rather loudly, that she was slower than a fucking turtle.

She showed them to the waiting room and left them, with a promise to return and let them know when they could see Chloe. The room was painted in pastel rainbow colors. There were some abstract looking animal designs on the wall. Lots of chairs and a table with children's books piled on it. And in one corner, a bucket of toys. There were three other people in the room. A man, sitting by himself, and a woman with a toddler asleep in her lap. Buck watched the doctor leave and crossed his arms. He let out a sigh and shook his head. Maddie stood beside him. She leaned against his shoulder for a moment, then wrapped her arm across his. "Every kid gets sick, Buck. You didn't do anything wrong." Maddie said softly.

Buck sighed and shook his head. "Two days, Mads. I had her for two days. And she gets sick!"

"Yeah, an infection she could have gotten two days ago, Buck, before you got her. Didn't Kate say they took her to get a check up the day before? Hospitals are breeding grounds for infections." Maddie said with a smile.

Buck rolled his eyes and shook his head. He stepped away from her, heading across the room. He glanced down at the table, laden with books. All bright and colorful. "She just... she was crying so much. All day. I couldn't get her to stop. She must hate me."

Maddie rolled her eyes. She followed him, a step behind him the whole time. "You are ridiculous! She's a baby! She doesn't hate you."

Buck shrugged and hung his shoulders a bit. "Her fever was just so high."

Maddie leaned against him a moment. "Yeah, and we rushed her to the hospital. The doctor was right, Buck. You did good." She pulled away and patted him on the back. "I'm gonna go see if I can find us some coffee. You wanna come?"

Buck shook his head. "No, I'm staying here."

Maddie smiled. "I figured that would be your answer. I'll be right back. Do _not_ yell at anyone!" She said, pointing a finger at him as she backed out of the room.

Buck rolled his eyes as he turned around. He glanced down at the table again. He grabbed one of the colorful kids books. Just something to look at, to distract him and to keep his mind from worrying. He dropped down in a chair, a few from the man and across the room from the woman with the sleeping toddler. He leaned back and rubbed at his eyes. He was tired. But he wasn't going to fall asleep.

"Your wife is right."

Buck opened his eyes and glanced over. The man was leaning over a chair, towards him. Buck straightened up and blinked. "Uh... who... me?"

The man smiled and nodded. "You mind?" He asked, pointing to the chair beside Buck.

Buck shrugged. He needed a distraction. A stranger would do, better than the dumb book. The man looked harmless enough. Good looking, nice smile, pretty eyes, Buck noticed, as the man stood up. He stepped closer and dropped down in the seat right beside Buck. Buck smiled and leaned back. He definitely could use this distraction. He dropped the book in the chair on his other side and turned back to the man.

"Your wife." The man repeated. "She's right. Didn't mean to eavesdrop, but heard what she said. Kids get sick or hurt. Even when you try your hardest to keep them safe and do everything right."

Buck tilted his head to the side. He was too tired and too worried to process what the guy was saying. "Wife?"

"Girlfriend?" The man asked after a moment.

Buck still stared at him blankly. "What?"

"The woman you were with?" The guy said, pointing towards the hall and looking confused himself. "The one who left for coffee?"

"Oh!" Now he felt stupid. Buck shook his head quickly. "Gross, dude."

"Oh... kay..." The man said slowly, stringing the word out.

Buck laughed softly and smiled. "My sister." He said. "That's my sister."

"Your sister..." The man repeated. "Oh... so... no wife or girlfriend?"

Buck shook his head. "No, no. Just me."

"So... your kid?"

"Chloe." Buck supplied the name, even though the stranger didn't exactly ask. "She's 3 months old. I'm fostering her until I can adopt her." Buck launched right into the story of saving her, starting with where he worked and ending with Chloe being taken from him at the hospital doors. Then he went into detail about going back to the hospital and applying to be a foster parent. The stranger didn't ask but he also didn't stop Buck. So he just kept talking. "It took almost 3 months." He said. "I actually just got her two days ago." He smiled and breathed out. "I sorta just... fell in love with her. She's a tough little fighter."

"Wow." The guy breathed out and shook his head slightly. "Talk about a hero. You are incredible."

Buck smiled and ducked his head a bit. A slight blush colored his cheeks for a moment. And if he wasn't so consumed with worry for Chloe, maybe he'd notice the way the stranger smiled at him, hung onto his every word and leaned slightly closer. And the way the stranger brushed his arm against Buck's more than once. The first time, he acted like it was an accident. Said sorry and pulled his arm away. Buck had smiled and kept talking. But the last time, the stranger kept his arm there, as he half leaned against Buck. "Nah." Buck said, shaking his head. "She's the real little hero. Changed my life and my sister's. Might have saved Maddie's life."

"Your sister?" The stranger asked.

Buck nodded. Then he stopped for a moment and turned slightly in his chair. Their arms no longer touched but their knees brushed together and Buck didn't pull away. "I'm Buck." He said, holding out his hand.

The stranger smiled and shook his hand. His fingers lingered on Buck's a few moments longer than necessary. "Just Buck? No last name?"

Buck smiled. "Buckley." He answered.

The stranger tilted his head. "Buck Buckley? Did your parents hate you?"

Buck let out a laugh. "Evan. But everyone calls me Buck."

"I like Evan better." The stranger smiled. "Eddie Diaz."

"So, Eddie Diaz, you got a kid here?" Buck asked, leaning forward slightly. "Or do you just like to hang out in hospital waiting rooms?"

Eddie smiled and shrugged. "Never know who you'll meet in a hospital waiting room." He winked at Buck and leaned back in the chair. "My son, Christopher." He said. "He uh... one of his crutches broke somehow and I have no clue how. He just fell and sprained his arm."

"In the middle of the night?" Buck asked.

Eddie smiled. "We were out having a guy's night."

"What does that entail?"

"Late night showing of that new Thor movie."

Buck smiled and let out a laugh. "Fun."

Eddie nodded. "It was. Until he fell down the stairs at the theater. The sprain wasn't bad. They're just setting it and double checking. But Christopher... sorta kicked me out."

Buck raised an eyebrow. "Your kid kicked you out?"

Eddie shrugged. "Single father. I might overreact sometimes."

Buck laughed and shook his head. "How old is he?"

"Almost 8."

Buck's eyes widened. "Seriously? You have an 8 year old kid?"

Eddie nodded. "Yep."

"Alone the whole time?"

Eddie looked away for a moment. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "No... my uh... wife... left us a few years ago."

Buck frowned and leaned back. He held up his arms and shook his head. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked."

Eddie shrugged slightly. "It's fine. It's been about 4 years. We're doing fine without her." He said a bit stiffly. Then he breathed out and leaned back.

"So then... you've been alone for the last 4 years?" Buck asked, genuinely curious. He didn't know any single parents. "I mean, with Christopher. Like... as a single parent, I mean."

Eddie smiled and nodded his head. "It's hard sometimes, but he's worth it. He's my whole world."

Buck smiled. He understood that. He opened his mouth to say just that when he noticed Maddie. She was leaning against the wall, near the doorway. She held two to-go coffee cups in her hands. "Hang on." Buck said to Eddie as he jumped up. He walked towards Maddie. "Something happen?"

Maddie shook her head as she pushed off the wall. "No."

Buck tilted his head. "Then why are you standing here, all stalkery?"

Maddie blinked at him for a moment and opened her mouth slowly. "Are you calling me a stalker?"

Buck shrugged. "A bit, yes. You look kinda creepy, standing here staring at me, and holding two coffees."

She held out one of the cups to Buck and he took it. "There. Now I'm just holding one." She said, raising her cup slowly to her lips. She took a slow sip. "I didn't want to interrupt." She said with a smile.

"Interrupt what?" He asked, taking a sip.

She smiled at him for a moment longer. "I ran into the doctor on my way back." She said, changing the subject. "We can go see Chloe."

Buck's eyes widened. "Yeah?"

Maddie smiled again and nodded.

There was a hand on his shoulder. Buck turned slightly. Eddie smiled at him and held out a piece of paper. "In case you ever need... help." Eddie said. "Us single dads should stick together."

Buck unfolded the paper. It looked like a coloring page, ripped out of a book. There was a cartoon dog on it, wearing a firefighter's hat. On the top corner, was a phone number, scribbled in... "Crayon?" Buck asked, looking back up at him.

Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled. "We're in the pediatric waiting room." He said. "I was lucky to find that box of crayons."

"It's pink." Buck pointed out.

Eddie smiled again and backed up slowly. "It was nice meeting you, Evan. Call me." He turned and headed back to his chair.

Buck folded the paper up and turned. Maddie was staring at him. Buck frowned as he shoved the paper in his pocket. "What?"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hall. "What?" She mocked. "Evan?"

Buck shrugged. "That's my name."

Maddie tilted her head to the side and continued to stare at him. "But no one calls you that."

"Duh, Mads." He really had no clue what she was trying to get at. And he was too tired. "I know that. I told him."

"Uh huh." She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Buck sighed. "Look, can we just go see Chloe?"

Maddie nodded and Buck followed her down the hall. The doctor was waiting for them. The room was small. There were a couple chairs and the small hospital crib. Buck pulled one of the chairs closer and picked Chloe up. He settled down in the chair and rested her against his chest. The doctor smiled and excused herself, with a promise to check on her in an hour.

Buck stifled a yawn as Chloe closed her eyes. The poor thing looked exhausted. She was asleep in seconds. Buck smiled. Maddie pulled a chair closer, right next to Buck. He glanced over at her. "You don't have to say." He said softly. "You can go home, I can call when we're done.

Maddie shook her head. "No, I'll stay."

Buck stifled another yawn. He shifted a bit gently, careful not to jostle Chloe too much. He slouched a bit farther down in the chair and hiked his feet up on the bottom of the crib.

Maddie smiled as she stared down at the sleeping baby. "She's so cute when she's sleeping."

Buck snorted softly and shook his head. "Don't rub it in." He mumbled. "I've only had her two days and all she does is cry! I'm doing something wrong."

Maddie shook her head. "No, you're doing everything right, Buck. It's only been a few days. And she _is_ a baby. That's sort of what they do."

"But..." Buck breathed out.

"No, Buck." Maddie interrupted. "First kids are always the hardest, because first time parents always think they're doing everything wrong."

Buck shook his head. "It's not all that." He said. "It is a little bit." He added quickly. "But that's not all. I spent a lot of time over at Kate's. And Chloe never cried! Not like this."

Maddie sighed. She didn't really want to say it, because she didn't want Buck to feel worse. But maybe it was something he needed to hear. "Buck, Chloe is 3 months old. " Maddie started softly, still mindful of the sleeping baby. "Everything she knows... was just taken away from her. Kate and her home and her wife, that's what Chloe knows. For three months, that was her home and her family. You are basically a stranger." Buck looked away and Maddie shook her head and continued talking. "I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm just... trying to get you to think about it, okay? Right now, you are basically a stranger. But one day, you won't be, okay? One day, Chloe won't remember her first home. She will only know you."

Buck was silent. He stared at the wall as he let Maddie's words sink in and process. She made sense, he knew. Deep down, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. None of this was going to be easy right off the bat. It was going to take time and patience. He _knew_ that. He did. But it still didn't make him feel good when Chloe just cried for hours. Buck breathed out slowly and looked back at Maddie. "Okay. What do I do?" He asked honestly.

Maddie tilted her head a bit. "Remember what Kate said, about routines and babies feeling safe. Maybe call Kate, ask her if there's something maybe you're missing. Maybe there was a song she sang to Chloe or something. Something you can do, that would remind Chloe of when being at Kate's made her feel safe.

Buck nodded slowly. That made sense. "Yeah." He leaned to the side slightly and dug in his pocket.

"Not right now!" Maddie hissed.

Buck stopped and frowned. "Why not?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Buck, it's like two in the morning."

"Oh." Buck paused like he'd actually forgotten what time it was. Because he had. He smiled and sighed. "Yeah, I totally forgot." Maddie let out a soft laugh and leaned back in her chair, getting comfortable. Neither noticed the folded piece of paper than had fallen out of Buck's pocket.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**Author's Notes:** 8D THERE IS EDDIE! Because there was NO way I was waiting a whole year for them to meet! So here comes Eddie, earlier!


End file.
